Before you are launched upon the guided tour, one might be well advised to read several of the impartations of knowledge, available on the impartations page, so as to put yourself into an Engraver's Typical State of Mind. Prior to this, however, imagine that you know something about die-stamping (intaglio process), and that you have discovered that:
A. The Foil Does Not Fit The Steel Die's Engraving!
B. You've got a Bob Botha set of steel dies to work with!
C. The Foil's Moving (all three colors)!
D. The Stock is several lengths and is Not Cut Straight!
E. You've got Gold Ink on your Shoes!
F. The Stock is bowing.
G. The Buttons aren't gripping.
H. Stock is feeding crooked.
I. Right pusher is not making contact.
J. Everything looks great, but it won't register for s***.
G. Your Feeder Won't Feed!
H. As you try to concentrate on your problems, People keep coming over and Talking To You, shoving large pieces of paper right in your face!
I. Your iron-out run has put a big ol' bruise on each and every sheet of stock. You might be able to minimize it later, hitting it with a piece of felt pad.
J. The stock design forces you to place the die way out on the right side of the die box, which makes your brass gib flex like a body builder at every impression.
K. Plenty more where that came from, Pal!
Having properly visualized the above scenario and having kicked several cardboard boxes and having cursed a blue streak and having threatened the lives of several Minions, you are now in a proper Master Engraver's Mood.
Recently, EZ and Tom performed GENERAL MAINTENANCE on the dip tank. Excavating a year's worth of sludge is man's work, and soon EZ found himself covered with goo and glory. Scowling at Lynch, who found it all quite amusing, EZ stuck his hand into the filthy tank and felt, amongst the murky ooze, a sharp object. Instinctively he put on protective gear and hauled the object out of the tank. There was no doubt among the witnesses that day. EZ had discovered the lost ink knife of Dettmer
EZ points out the dip tank which contained the lost ink knife of Dettmer. Note that Mr. Z, who is not wearing any protective gear, is standing a safe distance from the dangerous, caustic brew in the dip tank.
At that moment, Tony, bathed in sweat, was washing up his fountain in the nearby sink. "HEY!" he bellowed. "THAT'S DITMEIER'S INK KNIFE!!"
Tony was right. The ancient, corroded object fished from the Dip Tank by EZ was the fabled ink knife of Dettmer. Years before, the Master Engraver's knife had disappeared, to his great irritation. After a protracted period in which he suspected (in turn) each engraver of stealing his special ink knife, the Master Engraver stormed out of the plant at 7:52 AM one Friday morning (just to prove that he could), and saved the Big Dog from financial ruin in a single day. (People who have no idee what we uz discussin' here should move on. If you doan unnerstan' it, we ain' goan' to 'xplain it to y'all.)
Soon, Tony had a great idea. He would display the artifact and charge admission to the Dettmer Museum of Engraving. Lynch, being weak-minded, was instantly persuaded to help. He pointed out that most museums have at least several artifacts. Lynch and Tony racked their brains during numerous iron-out runs and managed not to wreck the stock and to come up with more Dettmer artifacts. Soon the museum was open for bidness. Tony, having liberated many of the artifacts, was appointed the chief curator.
Unfortunately, no one was willing to pay an admission fee. Soon unruly hoards were looting the museum, making off with priceless artifacts. Some of these objects soon began to show up in the organizers of die-stampers. Many of these scoff-laws were sent up on the hill. Lynch raised the French Flag as a Warning To Others.
After a suitable period of viewing, Tony did the decent thing and interred the remains into a damaged cardboard box. The Museum will be exhumed on February 14th (Dettmer Turn't Day--traditional observance) each year for viewing.
View More Artifacts!